If you have ADHD you may fail more than others. An inhibited person is not going to experience disappointment as much as an impulsive person because inhibition is in the service of avoiding rejection or failure.
One of the best ways to tackle arenas where you are flailing around with little success is to learn how to relate to failure. If you find yourself in a setting that isn’t a good match for you, you may feel like a failure. Similarly, if you have failed in the past in settings that were out of sync with who you are, you may be too paralyzed by fear of failure to move on. Two steps can help you move on. The first step is to let yourself feel the disappointment fully. Even if your worn-out dreams weren’t a good match, they still were very real dreams. You may need to grieve in order to begin the process of letting go of outdated dreams of who you are and what you want. The second step is to buck up and bounce back – show the world and yourself your resilience.
Each time you fail but bounce back you build strength and resilience. Having greater strength and resilience will allow you to persevere longer than others who have not experienced failure. Having greater strength and resilience will also prime you for success by making you immune to the minor and major setbacks that may derail others.
By failing you know how to take initiative, you will learn something just by bumping up against the world in a way more inhibited people will not. You will likely find a better opportunity elsewhere.
Begin to translate your own disappointments into these three “gifts” of failure. For example, ask yourself:
- How did I show boldness or take a calculated risk, and how can that serve me in the future?
- What skills or lessons did I learn from this failure?
- If there is a better opportunity for me, what might it be?
Endorsement for The Gift of Adult ADD
This book by Dr. Lara Honos-Webb, helped me, as much as the intuitiveness of the person who diagnosed me. It was one of the first things I read and it was by happenstance…or perhaps it was a “God” things as I am not one who really believes much in coincidences. It resonated in ways that made me feel smart and creative when I had recently…. and for the first time ….come out of a job situation where I was fired where I can now say, I was not to blame but set up for failure at every turn by another ego, arrogance, and cult like leadership style. I realized that my career, which defined me in every way, (more than it should have), was not what made me special or unique. The book unpacked for me various gaps I had in understanding my “sensitivity” and shed a new light on what benefits come from being extremely intuitive versus all the negatives you hear repeatedly throughout your life. ....
But this book was beyond beneficial and the best place I ever could have started to learn about how I am uniquely wired. And to view that uniqueness with not only its challenges, but with all the special privileges it provides as well. It is truly more of a blessing than a challenge and has been most of my life. ..... Thank you so much for providing a viewpoint that allowed me to not shut down, be hurt, feel “found out”, ....Read the book. And read it again. And then internalize it. And then Thank God. Then look at your life and DO something to get from point A to point B and for God sake, ask for help for once in your life. Because help exists.-- posted by LuvYourselfMore